i'm so freakin' emo now and i don't even know why.. i'm serious i've been crying for like the past hour.. :( was fixing some stuff and i came across not even my stuff but rache's old school stuff.. i know, it's a bunch of junk.. but back in fourth year we had to write "passports" during the first meeting of the week of our english class.. basically you put whatever.. you can draw or whatever.. but rache being rache she wrote down stuff about her life.. just like a diary but not so intimate.. anyway while reading it i started to cry.. for many reasons i can't even explain.. 4th year was a really rough year for us but tonight i wish i was back then.. i miss AC.. i miss Mrs. Eala.. i miss being good.. as in doing a good deed everyday.. being as nice as possible to everyone.. i miss the stress of high school.. and its carefreeness.. :( weird. coz i'm not having a sucky life.. nothing like that.. a lot of things are just not going my way.. not like how they always used to be before.. but i'm not regretting a single thing.. i don't know i just want to be young again.. i can't pinpoint why exactly.. *sigh* i just miss so many things.. i miss valle.. i miss having my parents bring me to places and fetch me afterwards.. i miss being close to wally.. i miss DLSU.. i miss receiving monthly checks.. weird as it may be even brye.. i miss eating as much as i want but not gain.. i miss being unbeatable.. i guess i miss the things i know i will never be able to revive.. sometimes i catch myself feeling empty.. weird i'm always on the go and all but i guess being in UE and not really being close close to anyone is an effect of it.. i like it in UE naman.. people are nice and all.. the people are really funny pa pero i don't even get to see my barkada this term.. mostly my fault coz i chose classes that will allow me to train everyday.. i guess UE in general makes me smile but not happy.. but academically i'm very much contented there.. i like the fact that i'm learning.. haha okay i'm gonna stop na, i'm really confusing now.. i guess i just need something for me to look forward to the next day..

this is the reason why i'm never gonna skim board again.. and i'm not walking normally at the moment..

went skimboarding in batangas during the DLSU teambuilding last weekend and had a bad fall.. :( my right knee super hurts now and so i'm not putting weight into it.. i couldn't tell my mom and coach owen about my fall but somehow they heard about it after a few days din. tsk tsk. well besides my fall and the consequence i'll have to face for being absent in NSTP, the teambuilding was great!! everything went really well.. the place was great for a teambuilding and the company was fantastic.. a mixture of weird and funny.. hahaha plus we were all super kulit and game!! i miss being part of a team!! funny.. coz i'm not really part but well it's like they're my teammates still anyway.. i even initiated the rookies.. super laughtrip!! :D so much fun fun memories. :) we'll be back for sure.

horoscope: You are likely to be entering a more detached phase today, where birthday parties are less than interesting, a roller-coaster ride just doesn't seem like much fun, and a tear-jerky movie inspires a yawn. This isn't boredom, and this isn't depression -- you're just feeling less emotional about the world around you. Use this time to reexamine some touchy issues. You'll be able to get a new clarity about what you used to see through a fuzzy, emotional lens.

i can really really relate.. nothing seems to get me excited now.. no motivation to do anything.. i just do things for the sake of getting by each day the way i should.. do well in school, work hard in training.. *sigh* i need inspiration!!! nonetheless, everything happens for a reason right?! in a way this gives me hope.. i'll be on the up side of the wheel of life soon..

two weeks of sem break has gone by in just a blink of an eye.. *sigh* but i had fun naman. :D got to hang out in DLSU again and actually attend classes for rache.. hahaha i super miss it there. *sigh* anyway yonex and toby's were frustrating in an eye opening way.. at least now i know i won't keep winning without training anymore. shux.. but i really wanna get better in badminton.. hence, no more drinking for me and i'll train hard na talaga.. anyway i went to cebu for the first time during the break too.. fun fun fun!! :D enjoyed food-tripping, shopping, touring, kayak-ing, jetski-ing :D oh and my friends and i attended a halloween party there.. it was fun.. met lots of friendly cebuanos. :) in all fairness their costumes were cute. :) anyway that pretty much sums up my sem break.. plus like a karaoke dinner with my DLSU teammates, a surprise party for my grandma and enchong's birthday bash at embassy.. not super eventful but i got to bond with people naman. :) anyway i enrolled today.. finally i'm a scholar na ulit.. yey!! :) i'm d.l. also and so i guess it's pretty much okay that i suck at badminton now. haha anyway gotta prepare my school stuff.. later!